p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
