How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
