To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
