best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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