whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
