we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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