No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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