You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
