I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
