Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
