i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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