margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
