She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
