I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
