If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
