his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
