Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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