like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
