i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You can't just leave with hair like that
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
