there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
