I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
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