I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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