i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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