Just fell off a train. Bad.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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