mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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