so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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