wrigley field is MILF paradise
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
