So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
