He kissed a someone with a penis
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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