She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
