I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
