Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
