I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
