what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
