apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
