Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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