She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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