Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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