Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You pole danced in your parka.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
