Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
