some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
