My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
