there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
