I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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