Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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