Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
