Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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