Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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