Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
