no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
