either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
