In the future we'll all be gay
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
