Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i wish my penis had a tongue
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
there is glitter all over my balls
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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