I hate your face
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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