absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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