This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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