in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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