What did we do last night that was yellow?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
