he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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