he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize