they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
