Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
